No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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