At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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