What did we do last night that was yellow?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize