she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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