i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize