yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
