Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
