As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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