Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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