Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
