she looked like the before picture.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
