i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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