Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
