ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize