You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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