while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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