I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
