singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am available for nakedness
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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