his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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