I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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