We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
