worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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