my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
