awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
