would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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