Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize