i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
