All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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