My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
