I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize