just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
