Can i not drive my cunt home
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
