3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I cut my penus on the lid.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
