Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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