I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just pee around me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
