I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just want nice things and good sex
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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