I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
