Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
