Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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