She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
