Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
