when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
