You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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