He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
