ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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