I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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