Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
