Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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