Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize