Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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