you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
