my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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