I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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