I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
