yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
