Sry I called you an 8
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My ATM looks so different sober.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
