holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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