She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
