Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
