if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
