somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
