I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
