i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
