PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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