He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
