I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
