oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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