When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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