Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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