She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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