so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. Iām more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize